Preface

All my life I have had an obsession with wildlife, especially exotic wildlife. Thus my two dream vacations were first, safari in Africa, and second, scuba diving in the coral reefs of the blue Caribbean. Thanks to my grandfather, my first dream was fulfilled in Kenya at the age of 17. That left the Caribbean for later.

I attended college from 2002 to 2006 and always contemplated going on a cruise and doing the scuba excursion as a graduation gift to myself. I almost pulled the trigger a few times during summer breaks, fearing that Tia would be pregnant when we graduated and thus we would not be in a position to take such a vacation (you cannot cruise if you’re on week 28 or later of your pregnancy). So between Kalani and a would-be #2, I was never sure when I would be able to make it happen.

In September of 2006 Tia was not yet pregnant, Kalani was 2 1/2 and could be left with family and graduation was three months away. All lights were green for a January cruise to the Caribbean as a graduation present. Luckily Tia was as enthusiastic as I was in fulfilling this life-long dream.

Cruise Details

Cruise Line: Princess
Ship: Caribbean Princess
Ship built: 2004
Length: 951 ft
Breadth: 118 ft
Weight: 112894 tons
Capacity: 3150
Nights: 7
Route: Ft. Lauderdale – St. Martin – St. Thomas – Princess Cays – Ft. Lauderdale
Tickets: $500 ea

Day 1 – Saturday – Ft. Lauderdale – 1/13/2007

Due to a cold front sweeping the mid-west (which caused a rift of delays), our midnight flight was delayed until 1:30am from Sacramento Metro. Going through Dallas Fort Worth, our second flight landed us in Florida at nearly 11:00am. After flying all night we were exhausted and luckily our hotel was the Sheraton ‘airport’ hotel, so we had no trouble finding the free shuttle and had checked in by noon. Normally check-in is not until 3pm, but we lucked out and they let us in early.

The room was large and had a great view of Ft. Lauderdale. We enjoyed a dinner buffet that night and a breakfast buffet in the morning. The food was excellent.

Day 2 – Sunday – Ft. Lauderdale and At Sea – 1/14/2007

The trip from the hotel to the cruise terminal was a bit of a mess. The night before the concierge at the hotel had called a shuttle for us and scheduled him to pick us up at noon. The concierge stressed over and over that there would be many shuttles offering us a ride, but to hang in there for his buddy to arrive “He ALWAYS shows up!” So he gave us his phone number and we planned on meeting him outside at noon.

Just like the concierge said, there were at least two dozen people outside with their luggage being herded into shuttles heading for Port Everglades, where all the cruise ships dock. A few drivers offered us a ride but we explained we were waiting for someone and were in no hurry. At about 12:15pm I called the guy and through his thick accent I could make out that he was no where near the hotel and he probably wouldn’t be able to make it (something about traffic), so we should find another ride.

I approached a hotel staff member and explained our situation. He turned to a taxi driver who I noticed yelling at him earlier and said “Here, I have two for you!” and quickly ushered us into the cab. As soon as we take off the drivers starts ranting about the ‘crooks’ at the hotel. All the shuttle drivers and a lot of the hotel employees are Haitian (and speak French/Creole), so I figured they would all be friendly to one another. Apparently the hotel employees, and the one I talked to in particular, were demanding drivers, $10 in exchange for providing someone who needs a ride. I don’t think the hotel employee earned $10 for our referral, the cab driver was pretty furious.

So we’re off on the three mile, what should be short trip to the port. We talked with the driver a bit about his background and shared the fact that we both speak French. When we neared the port traffic came to a stand still. The driver was not happy and complained that three cruise ships were boarding simultaneously, which almost never occurs. Consequently a large traffic jam formed and people started unloading their luggage and walking the rest of the way. At our driver’s suggestion (which I did not object, seeing as how his meter rises with time) we too unloaded and began the walk.

I believe the traffic worked to our advantage. After a 1/2 mile walk to the boat terminal our check-in was a breeze without any standing in line. It began with the porters taking our luggage and loading them onto a palette. Above the porters is a large sign that explicitly stated “DO NOT TIP PORTERS. THEY ARE PAID SALARY”. Our porter then asked for a ‘donation’ in a musical Caribbean accent. All I had was a dollar (and a twenty) so I gave her a buck and she forced a smile.

Check-in was a matter of signing a form stating that we had not vomited or experienced diarrhea during the past two days (otherwise they ask you to see the medical staff), followed by a brief check of our passports and driver’s license. Luckily the flu I had been fighting for the past two weeks did not involve either of the two. We were then issued our on-board keycards which act throughout the cruise as a payment method, key to our room, identification and exit/boarding pass. They keycards are also matched to a photograph quickly taken as they are issued. At all stops the keycards are used to record who has left/boarded the boat, and the security guards match the photo with the card holder.

A friendly crew greets you as you board the ship for the first time. You immediately notice that most employees are not from the US and have their country of origin displayed below their name on their badge. I think I noticed the most from Eastern Europe, places like Poland and Romania. There were quite a few from South Africa as well.

Our room was a pleasant surprise. Despite being the cheapest room on the menu, it beat some of the cheaper hotels I have stayed at. One great touch that really relieves any inkling of claustrophobia are the large mirrors placed at both ends of the bedroom. This makes the room feel large and spacious. In addition to a queen sized bed there is a small shower/bathroom, full-sized closet and a TV which shows some great live satellite channels (CNN, ESPN, etc) as well as very informative cruise videos. One that we have enjoyed is the channel that shows footage and reviews from each of the possible shore excursions you can sign up for which take place at each of our stops: St. Martin (French Caribbean), St. Thomas (U.S. Virgin Islands) and Princess Cays (Bahamas).

The boat itself is extremely massive. It’s pretty much everything you could imagine in a giant cruise ship, but to experience it first person is incredible. The engineering feat is a modern marvel. From everything to ATM machines, telephones, cell phone coverage, plumbing, electricity, internet, the ship is a city on the sea. We are reminded of this fact each time they mention shopping on board. The ship has many boutiques on board which do not charge any sort of tax, if something is listed as $10.00, you swipe your keycard and $10.00 is added to your bill. This is obviously because we are geographically liberated from state taxes.

The first afternoon everyone met together for a safety drill. The boat’s alarm sounds and we all grab life vests and meet in a designated area (depending on where your room is). Once everyone’s in place they give a brief safety seminar similar to ones you see on airplanes. The numerous life boats docked within the cruise ship itself offer an outward display of assurance – we’re safe (I think).

Our room keeper Fernando also introduced himself to us. Like all the other employees he is especially cheerful and seems genuinely glad to be of service. Fernando cleans our room and makes our beds twice a day and leaves little chocolates on our pillow. The first day I ate Tia’s chocolate because she had been gone at the spa for 3 hours getting a massage and facial and my stomach needed something to stop the implosion.

We also met for the first time, what I call the “Arena of Happiness”. In this large open area on top of the midsection of the boat you have a gigantic TV screen as a centerpiece, complemented by a large swimming pool and two jacuzzis. To the sides and on three levels is beach chair sitting, complemented by numerous bars and eateries. Two of the favorites were the pizzeria and BBQ grill. Everything is free. You just walk up, tell’m what you want and they hand you the food – no keycards, no nothing. You then go sit down on a relaxing chair, soaking in the sun and watching whatever movie or football game is playing on the big screen. No, I am not making this up, there is a heaven on earth. The first day they showed two NFL playoff games back to back. In the evenings they do what is called “Movie Under the Stars”. Handing out blankets and popcorn they play a newly released, popular film on the screen for everyone to enjoy. I’ll mention later our experiences with this (awesome).

Although we planned to set sail at 6pm that evening, the Captain announced that because several passengers had their flights delayed and would be a few hours late, we would not set sail until 7 or 8pm. The cruise line monitors all flights and assures that all passengers have arrived and checked in before sailing.

When the boat’s engines fired up for the first time I was in the room watching TV, waiting for Tia (at the spa). I knew something was amiss when the walls began shaking as if someone had taken light jackhammer to them. Luckily that only lasted the first few minutes. I quickly went outside to watch as we left port and snapped a few photos.

Immediately you notice the boat is now ‘alive’. Despite its gargantuan size, there is significant bounce and sway as the boat cruises along at nearly 20 knots (don’t ask me how fast that is, but it looks fast). As you walk down the hall you have to laugh as you almost fall over because we must have hit a big wave. As you lay in bed you feel as if you’re on a large train as the room moves to a hypnotic rhythm. At this point neither of us became sea sick, I actually enjoyed the movement as it seemed to rock me to sleep, but Tia complained that it kept her awake.

Unfortunately we forgot to bring sunglasses, and it was obvious we would need them throughout the trip, so we went to one of the many boutiques to purchase a pair. We both found ones we liked ($32 ea) and were checked out by a pair of girls from South Africa. As we had just exited the store I heard one of the girls yell “Sweatpea!!!!” — it was to me, I had failed to pickup my receipt. As I walked in she snickered and told her co-worker laughing “I just called him sweatpea!” Tia got a good laugh too. Sweatpea must be a common term in South Africa. This was another reminder that we were surrounded by people from all over the world, from all walks of life.

Dining on the cruise comes down to two options: restaurant style or buffet style. If you like the restaurant style you sometimes need reservations and they like you to dress nice. At the buffets it’s come and go as you please with a much more causal dress. For the formal nights (when everyone is in a tux/suit and dress) we opted to dine restaurant style, but most other nights we went for the quick and easy buffet. For the most part the food was great.

To top off the night we went and sat in one of the eight jacuzzi’s on the top deck. It’s a wondrous feeling to have the ocean whisking past on the horizon while the warm Caribbean wind hits your face, and be sitting in a hot tub. We were accompanied by two high school girls from Colorado with whom we enjoyed good conversation. High on the top deck and it being dark, we were able to spot the brightly lit neighboring cruise ships to all sides. I think we spotted four that night. So many vacationers, doing the same things as us, heading to many of the same destinations. It was kind of comforting to know that if a titanic occurred, help wasn’t far off.

As we retired to our room for the evening we were greeted by a notice to set our clocks forward one hour. We were apparently crossing time zones, heading east where they are an hour ahead.

Day 3 – Monday – At Sea – 1/15/2007

After enjoying a tasty breakfast buffet we went out on deck to catch some sun and listen to the resident band.

Adjacent to the outdoor “theater” arena with its jacuzzi’s, pool and TV, is the almost identical musical theater, with its own spas, pool, food and beach chairs. Only instead of the giant TV, a band is providing entertainment. The band was an authentic Caribbean reggae band from the island of St. Lucia and they completely exceeded my expectations. I had previously thought myself I would always prefer the “TV” arena for obvious reasons, but this four-deck, outdoor, musical arena was brought to life by the catchy tunes of this Caribbean band. They focused on a lot of reggae classics with which I was familiar, that helped. We laid out and ate pizza as they jammed. I tried my hand a bit in the giant pool below the band. These pools are great fun because the swaying of the ship causes the water in the pool to go back and forth forming giant waves. Almost half the pool empties itself as the ship rocks one direction, then the water comes flying back. To stop the pool from emptying itself they have constructed a two foot wall about ten feet away from the edge of the pool. This ten foot buffer zone provides a “beach-like” play area for younger kids not wanting to test the wave pool.

Later that day we discovered the promenade for the first time as well. The promenade is on deck 7 (of 16) and features an ocean-side walkway surrounding the boat. The only thing between you and the ocean on this walkway is a safety rail. People use the promenade to jog or walk for exercise, but we used it mostly for site seeing. True there isn’t much to see, but what’s there is a beauty to behold. Looking straight down you can see just how blue the water is. The boat is moving fast causing waves and surf which probably attract certain fish. Just as we were on the front of the promenade peering down into the water I spotted what I thought was a bat-like bird flying a few feet above the water. We were so far out and there was no visible land so it seemed a bit odd. I quickly showed Tia and then we noticed an entire swarm of them.. in fact, a school of them – they were flying fish. It was amazing how long and how far these things stayed above water in their mid-air flights. That afternoon we spotted 2-3 schools of these fish. Another vacationer mentioned that he had seen large sailfish doing the same thing on a cruise to the Bahamas. A few more times that day we took the promenade and searched for more wildlife. The water is so blue, so deep, so alien, that you can’t help but to stare into it hoping to catch a first-hand glimpse of this alien ecosystem in action. Then you remember you’re signed up for three snorkeling and one scuba diving excursion at your various stops! I couldn’t wait, but Tia on the other hand had seen too many shark bite shows on TV and was still a bit scared of what was on the horizon.

Up high on the promenade behind the music arena was also the outdoor basketball, tennis and ping-pong courts. How in the world did anyone expect to play any of those in the constant wind combined with the swaying of the boat? We plan on finding out by shooting some hoops if we find the time this week.

That late afternoon “The DaVinci Code” was playing in the ship’s theater. Unlike the movies under the stars, this was a complete indoor theater suited for any sort of movie, play, comedian, etc. Again the engineering of the entire thing was amazing. The theater was huge with stadium seating and we enjoyed seeing the movie and finally understanding what all the fuss was about.

Monday night was a formal evening. So Tia obviously looked great in her skirt and blouse, and I wore my suit. We had our first non-buffet meal at the nearest restaurant (there are many on board). It was fun to see so many people so dressed up having so much fun. A good portion of the passengers are senior citizens and for them these nights seemed to be highlights of the trip. Our charming waiter hailed from Mexico and spoke some Spanish with my lovely wife. I understood enough to make sure he was not flirting with her. The food was nothing to brag about, but it was highly decorated. The service and class was excellent.

After that we quickly got back into our beach gear and headed for the spa at the movie under the stars, The Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was playing, how fitting. We enjoyed the jacuzzi for about half the movie, the other half we bundled up on the beach chairs with the blankets, under the stars. What a vacation.

Day 4 – Tuesday – At Sea – 1/16/2007

The day started with a knock at the door which woke us up at 8:25am. We had ordered room service for breakfast the night before (free, as most everything on the cruise is). As opposed to the gain-10-pounds-breakfast-buffet, this continental breakfast was simple yet filling.

After that we set off to the internet cafe to purchase some time in order to check our emails and update the website with this journal. The minutes were sold in a package of 100 minutes for $55 – a bit on the expensive side. The connection is provided wirelessly in the lobby so I was able to use my laptop. The main internet connection is provided to the ship via satellite, thus it is not nearly as fast as the standard broadband we’re used to.

After drudging through dial-up internet speeds, we headed off for the pizza and burgers at the top deck arena of music. The band playing wasn’t nearly as good as the Caribbean guys the day before. They were two white guys and a girl who were struggling at their renditions of American classics.

After laying out all afternoon we went to the other arena (of happiness) with the big screen where Grease was playing. We took a dip in the pool there and then sat in the spa as the movie played. I had never seen Grease before and could have done without it.

After Grease we went to our room and got ready for dinner. Even if it’s not formal night, they like you to wear slacks and an open-collared shirt for dinner. We tried the Cafe Caribe dinner buffet. The theme for the night was “The Down Island and Hunter’s Delight” or something like that. Translation: Caribbean and varied meats. As always the food was great. One dish I especially liked was called “Jamaican Chicken,” which consisted of small cuts of chicken marinated in a spicy vegetable sauce sprinkled with green and yellow peppers.

We quickly rush through dinner to make it to “The Explorer’s Lounge” by 8:30pm for the acclaimed comedian on board, Steve Morris. Steve was a guitarist with the Beach Boys for many years and has played with a few high-profile bands over the years. He’s always done stand-up on the side and did a great job of entertaining all of us for a good hour. I was pleasantly surprised that his act was void of any gross vulgarities that often plague modern stand-up. It was cute to see him mention his toddler son a good 3-4 times throughout the act. He mentioned at least twice that he was heading home tomorrow and would get to hold his kid. Knowing how much we missed Kalani, Tia and I could easily sympathize.

After his show we went back to the Cafe Caribe – we had skipped desert! My desert consisted of more Jamaican Chicken followed by a serving of mixed fruits. Tia had some cream puffs and fruit. We then tried to get into “Piano Man” at the theater – a live show giving tribute to many great musicians. However there was standing room only and the usher suggested that we come back tomorrow night at the same time for a repeat.

We then took a late night stroll outside on the promenade to personally gaze into the deep ocean and imagine how deathly scared we would each be if we ended up overboard in pitch black darkness. Tomorrow we would be heading out on jet ski’s for some quality site seeing and snorkeling.

On our way back to our room we noticed the karaoke taking place in “Club Fusion”. We stopped and sat for awhile to see the foreigners do their thing. We may just have to return one of these nights so I can demonstrate a good old fashion “Ice Ice Baby”.

Day 5 – Wednesday – St. Martin (French Caribbean) – 1/17/2007

I think almost everyone has at one time or another dreamed of two things: flying like a bird, or breathing underwater like a fish. Today I would fulfill my lifelong dream of scuba diving with Caribbean wildlife – accomplishing one of those two fantasies.

The suspense was killing me as I woke up at 6am and was unable to get back to sleep. Tia had set up a wakeup call for 7am, which is when we really needed to get up. If I wasn’t worried that the wakeup call wouldn’t go through and we’d miss our excursions, I may have been able to get back to sleep.

I knew we’d be pulling in to port between 6am and 7am so I went to the promenade with my video camera to get some footage. It was still dark but the weather was warm and sure enough we could see St. Martin on both sides as we entered the bay. The entire cruise I had been watching for French speakers, and out here on the promenade a couple came up next to me and their language caught my ear – French. After listening to them for a few minutes I finally cut in, the accent gave them away: “Are you from Canada?” I inquired. And sure enough they were. We conversed in French for a bit. This was their sixth visit to St. Martin, but first time on a cruise ship. Apparently they have a sister who lives on the French side of the island (half the island is Dutch, the other French). It was cloudy out and I asked about the weather and they assured me that St. Martin is always cloudy in the morning but it blows off by noon and the sun will surely be there. The same proved true for St. Thomas, our next stop.

At 7am we hit the breakfast buffet. Let me just say, the buffets here are amazing. I am constantly impressed by both the variety and quality of food served. On this ship we always have two dining options, the buffet or the restaurant. Both are free / all you can eat. We usually opt for the buffet so we don’t have to wait for waiters (how ironic). Our goal this morning was to fill up as much as we could, since we knew there would be little time for lunch, and it would be an expensive lunch if we were to do it. We loaded up on eggs, bacon, pancakes, all that good stuff.

After breakfast we still had time to kill since our first excursion didn’t start until 8:30am. We went to the top deck and took in the scenery. It began to rain as a few dark clouds passed over. The reward was an enormous rainbow right next to the boat in the bay. At this point we also had our first up close view of another cruise liner. A Carnival Cruise ship pulled in adjacent to us at the pier, with about 30 yards between us. I had my camera out so I was able to play the peeping tom and filmed all sorts of things happening on the floating hotel. I got a few people in boxer shorts on their balcony, others brushing their teeth through the bathroom window. Nothing extraordinary.

As we exited the boat some Princess employees photographed us at we posed at the gangway. These impromptu portraits take place in many places throughout the cruise and then put on display in a photo gallery for passengers to locate and purchase. So far we’ve only purchased the one they took on the first day as we registered and boarded.

After a few minutes of searching on the docks and at the pier marketplace we found our tour guide. We had booked two excursions through this agency online when we purchased our tickets through a broker. Most excursions can be purchased through Princess, so we signed up for St. Thomas excursions through them. The advantage of going through Princess, as we found out, is better organization.

The tour guide was holding a sign labeled “Jet Ski Tours” — on our tickets it said look for someone holding a sign saying “Blue Bubbles / Best of the Caribbean”. Fair enough, we found each other and were off. He was a nice local guy who was born and raised in St. Martin. On my mission I met tons of Africans who shared very little with the African Americans from home. Now again I was meeting more people of African descent who were not from the states. Their cheery personalities and Caribbean accents are quite charming. Despite being a Dutch/French island, everyone seemed to communicate in English.

After a few minutes the guy passed us off to his co-worker who led us out to the taxi pickup/drop-off area. She instructed the taxi agency where to take us and we were then passed off to the devil. It appeared that the island unified taxi agency had a relationship with the tour agencies. The taxi rides, which are normally expensive, were part of our tour package so we did not have to pay when we arrived. Unfortunately, when you factor in the coordination that must take place between: the internet sale, the tour agency, the tour guide, the taxi service, your specific tour and the return trip, as we found out – there is much room for confusion.

The devil, our first taxi driver, was a Caribbean lady in her late 30’s who was decorated in jewelry and make-up. She looked great for her age, but carried this scary aura of hate and destruction about her. She started off by yelling at her co-workers ushering us into the taxi. After we were off I asked her if she’s from St. Martin and she replied with a short and stern “No” which was barely audible. Then I followed (I shouldn’t have left it) with “Oh, where are you from?” She was obviously annoyed and mumbled some place I couldn’t make out.

A lot of silence and boredom ensued as we navigated heavy traffic across the island. As we found on all the islands, the roads are small like Europe, but they drive even crazier than European drivers. I’ve never seen anything like it. They put Paris to shame.

Due to a bridge that opens a few times a day to let ships through, we sat in a long line of cars for a good 10-15 minutes. That’s when the devil began her tirade. She asked about our itinerary for the day: Jet-ski’s + snorkeling from 9am – Noon, scuba diving from 1pm – 4pm. She then exploded about how there is no way in this traffic that we could finish our morning excursion and make it back to harbor by noon. As it was, we weren’t going to arrive at the jet-ski place until 10am, and she said we’d need to leave by 11am to get back by noon, which leaves an hour for our excursion. She went on and on about how wrong this was, how the tour company should know better, how we should ask for our money back, etc, etc.

We finally arrived at the jet-ski place – a small parking lot next to a little grocery store. The place was empty, no one waiting for us. As we exited the taxi I wasted my breath by asking her something to the effect of “uh, who / where do we go?” “I have no idea, bye.” Was her reply as she sped off. What a way to start your dream vacation.

We located the locked up jet-skis on a small dock, but there was still no sign of a tour guide. We went in an office at the parking lot and they told us there should be someone on the dock for us (they weren’t part of any tour agency). Then we went in the grocery store and asked the clerk what we should do. Another clerk led us out to a small enclosed shack (no windows) in the parking lot, knocked on the door and got us in there. As a breath of fresh air, the lady sitting a desk in the prison-shack was extremely nice and helpful. She said to call the phone number on the “JET SKI” sign out front. It wasn’t her agency or her deal, but she offered to call the number if we’d read it to her. So we did, and she called, and they said the guy is on his way, but is stuck in traffic: the bridge.

What a relief, someone was on their way, but we were still a bit shaken by the events thus far. About 10 minutes later a beat-up truck with three people pulled up. One girl, two guys. One guy in his early twenties approaches and offers that large charming Caribbean smile and apologizes about the wait, he was in traffic. Shouldn’t these people be used to the traffic and know to plan around it? Besides the devil, we found that many people here, like in Hawaii, operated on “island time” — which is just a kick back slow-paced life where time isn’t much of an issue, and “every little thing, is gonna be alright.”

Our Rastafarian guide went by the name of Junior and bid farewell to his friends as he began unlocking the skis. “One ski or two?” He didn’t even know if we had rented separate jet-skis. We were honest and said we were sharing one. After about 20 minutes of him walking a hand-held gas can back and forth between the gas station to fill up the ski’s we were off and running. Very little instruction or even a question as to whether or not I had piloted one of these things before, we were off. He did inquire as to what we cared most about doing: relaxing on the beach, snorkeling, or site-seeing. I made it a point that we were looking forward to snorkeling the most.

Junior led us on a long jet-ski tour around many parts of the inner-island and then out to sea. We were able to see many suburbs, buildings, mansions, islands, etc. It was a fantastic tour. When we got out to sea on our way to the beach the waves got a bit choppy, probably 6-8ft. Our ski would launch off them and we’d thump hard back into the water. It could have been tiring on the rear end, but we were having such a great time, and Tia was holding tight.

We made our way to a nice beach front by some hotels. Junior told us to go up to the equipment shack and the guy would ‘give’ us snorkel gear. The guy gave us gear, but said they were ten bucks each (I thought they were included in the tour). We reluctantly paid and did about 30 minutes of snorkeling by an outcrop of rocks near the beach. The water was warm, aqua blue, and reminded me of Hawaii. The snorkeling turned out to be the least eventful of the trip (we snorkeled/scuba’d at five places throughout the entire cruise), but it was our first and seemed to be fine.

After that we took a shortcut back to the original docks and landed the ski’s and began drying off. We were fortunate to have been the only tourists for the morning session, there were about six Americans standing there waiting for Junior upon our return. They quietly asked us if it was worth it and a few other questions. We assured them that it’s great.

Junior was nice enough to call on his cell phone to see why there was no taxi waiting to pick us up (duh). Apparently the devil herself was supposed to come back and meet us, maybe she did at 11am, it was now noon. They told Junior she was supposed to come back. So he took us across the street and was going to flag down a local bus to take us back, $2 a piece. We stood there for a few minutes, no bus. Luckily his phone rang, it was the tour agency, they spoke with the taxi agency and got things settled – another taxi was on its way to get us.

We thanked Junior with a tip and bid him farewell as we waited for the taxi and he attended to the tourists. Surprisingly the taxi arrived in less than five minutes and we were off to the harbor. On the way we picked up a young couple from Maryland who had done a horseback tour of the island. They had loved it.

We made it back to the original tourist agency in the harbor at about 12:45pm. Luckily we had eaten so much at breakfast we were not hungry (although I made a pitstop at the convenience store to buy some European chocolate). We told the lady that we had a great time, but had to pay for our snorkel gear. She wasn’t happy about that and said we’ll bring that up with her partner (the guy who originally met us off the boat). She said the boat to take us scuba diving should be there in about 20 minutes so we could hang out and shop around for a bit.

We walked around and took some pictures before making our way back to the tour shack. At one point I spotted a small lizard (Anole) on the wall and attempted to capture him for more photos, he was too quick, but I did snap one before he took off.

Back at the tour shack the guy was there and he wasn’t happy that we had to pay for snorkel gear. They had us sign a receipt and they gave us a cash refund for the gear. The fact that they were so quick to reimburse us without much interrogation was a pleasant surprise.

We then boarded a boat to head off on our scuba excursion. Two separate scuba excursions are sold: one for certified divers which goes deep, and another for uncertified beginners which only goes 20-40 feet deep. We were obviously on the beginner’s course, but it turned out to be fantastic.

Our instructor was an American guy named Frank from New Orleans. After getting his bachelors in some sort of biology (I can’t recall the specific degree), he got his doctorate in Public Relations. Frank’s a self-proclaimed conversationalist and was a great instructor. He was accompanied by his assistant instructor, Dale, and another guy Sean. Both Dale and Sean were from Guyana and constantly enlightened the tour with their comedy. An example is when I asked Dale what types of animals we would be seeing. I was hoping to hear things like turtles, manta rays, eels, etc. But he then smiled and began to list about every species of shark as he extended each of his fingers to keep count. Of all the tours we took on our vacation, we found that every tour guide we had was both a comedian and instructor. The fun personalities of all our guides in St. Martin and St. Thomas really enabled us to fully enjoy our excursions.

After a crash course in scuba diving (Frank used a very helpful 11×17 flip chart) we were off on the boat to our destination. Tia and I were accompanied by a young couple from Humbolt, California who were staying a week on the island. We really lucked out in St. Martin, being the only ones on the jet-ski’s, and in a small group for this scuba. In St. Thomas both our tours consisted of 12+ people (but we still enjoyed them immensely).

We dropped anchor at place called shipwreck cove. Here lays a good amount of old ships and debris on the ocean floor which attract lots of fish. After suiting everyone up (we all had to wear weight belts, Frank explained that as Americans we are fat, and our blubber is quite buoyant) we all jumped in and took hold of a rope that led down to the ocean floor. The first task was to go through three exercises with an instructor, underwater, before descending.

The first is to practice removing and reattaching the breathing device from your mouth. You are to remove it, blow some bubbles, then place it back at your mouth and press the button which clears out the water and then begin breathing again. The second task is to practice doing this procedure with someone else’s backup breather. Everyone has a secondary breather that is colored bright yellow for emergencies. If my equipment were to go bad, or if I were to run out of oxygen, I could swim over to Tia and breath on her yellow line. At one point we noticed a local snorkeler dive down from the service and pat his local buddy Dale (our assistant instructor) on the shoulder and then grab his yellow line and take a huge a breath, as the two smiled and exchanged a street hand shake (fist bop).

The third task is to carefully allow a small amount of water into your mask, then practice expelling the water by leaning your head back and blowing hardly with your nose. This forces the water out but there isn’t enough time for more water to seep in. It worked surprisingly well.

Finally we all had to equalize the pressure in our sinuses as we descended down the rope. This is just like when you’re on an airplane and you plug your nose and blow to pop your ears. Every two to four feet down the rope you feel the pressure building, so you stop, lean your head back, pinch your nose and blow. This worked fine and we had no problems all the way down to the bottom. They stress during orientation that if you have a cold, congestion, or anything of the sort that you do NOT attempt to scuba dive. They didn’t explain why exactly, but it must have something to do with being able to equalize air pressure when you dive.

We were now free to explore (as a group) with the instructors watching over us. We saw lots of debris, lots of big fish, and some good sized humans – snorkelers at the surface who were unable to come down as deep as us. It was an amazing feeling to breath underwater. It goes back to those two dreams that people have: fly like a bird, breath underwater. It’s something you have to experience to understand. I found myself holding my breath now and then because subconsciously that is what you’re supposed to do underwater. I had to remember to breath. Also there was the issue of dust / sand / particles in the water. Above water when you see such particles in front of your face you often hold your breath and turn away so as to not breath in all the particles. Well underwater you are constantly surrounded by these particles in your face. Again I would hold my breath because I did not want those particles entering my lungs, it took a very conscious effort to snap out of it and force myself to breath – those particles obviously would not be sucked up in my air.

The fish were amazing and at one point Dale pulled out a hand full of bread and started shredding it into small pieces. He was immediately surrounded by at least 100 feeding fish who devoured the bread. We were all near and able to witness the extravaganza. He then passed each of us some bread so we could do it ourselves.

We really enjoyed the entire experience and I would love to go again sometime. The hardest part for me was the excessive breathing through my throat. It made for an overly dry mouth, a dehydrated throat, and I became a bit noxious. I felt as if I had been breathing through my stomach. Combining all those factors with the few gulps of sea water I swallowed, and I was just barely noxious enough that I needed to lay down on deck for the ride back. Tia’s main complaint was a strong headache that she thinks was caused by her mask being too tight.

We were back on the boat by 5pm. Covered in dry salt, Tia opted for the 2×2 shower in our room, while I just went out to one of the may pool and spa’s on a top deck. There I met a lady with her 7yr old son who was on her 5th cruise. She said this was her first with Princess, so I asked how it compared to the rest. She talked about some of the neat attractions on the various boats she has been on: ice skating rinks, roller skating, ocean-view shopping malls, giant water slides, etc. But she noted that should we trade them all for Princess’ “Movies Under the Stars”. I agree with her, it’s a great way to watch a movie. Overall she said for the most part that the cruises and ships are the same, and Princess ranks right up there with any other. I hear that Carnival, being on the of the cheapest, is not as nice as some of the other cruise lines.

After dinner we went to the indoor theater to see another comedian: Adam Ace. The introduced him as “wacky comedy” and that’s pretty much what he is. He was very funny, made us all laugh, especially this elderly lady sitting next to Tia. At both Steve Morris (the other comedian) and here with Adam Ace, we were blessed to sit next to an elderly person with an insane laugh, one of those laughs you could hear a mile away and just sounded out of place. Anyway, Adam is wacky, kind of like Pee-Wee Herman, but not as eccentric. We laughed through most of the show and enjoyed it despite being exhausted by the days activities.

We stayed for the next presentation that evening: Piano Man – a tribute to John Elton, Barry Manilow, Liberace, and one other guy. It was basically a cast of about 20 male and female dancers who would sign and dance melodies from various the artists’ portfolios. I was so exhausted that I actually fell asleep. At one point Tia bumped me, the spotlight of the show was on me, well it was on to the dancer standing right next to me in the aisle doing part of her routine. I hope no one noticed the bum sleeping next to her.

That pretty much wrapped it up for the day. It was the first time during the vacation where we had to wake up early and we were feeling the effects. We knew we would have to wake up early again for St. Thomas and that it would be another day packed with excursions. Piano Man ended at 9:30pm and we were fast asleep by 10pm.

Day 6 – Thursday – St. Thomas (U.S. Virgin Islands) – 1/18/2007

For some reason, even though we’re getting off on American soil, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and we showed our passport at the beginning of the cruise, everyone is forced to go have their passport checked this morning before getting off the boat. The checkpoint is just two customs officers sitting behind a table who glance at your passport photo and wave you on. The line was huge, but it went quickly.

After the check we hit the breakfast buffet (mmm mmm good) and filled up a bit extra since we planned on skipping lunch between our two excursions: 1. Sea Blaster – a ride on a speedboat to a prime snorkeling spot. 2. Eco Tour – a combination kayak, hike and snorkel tour in the protected mangrove lagoons of the island. The eco tour focuses on the plant and animal life and the conservation aspect of the area.

Unlike St. Martin where we booked our excursions with a 3rd party online, today’s excursions were booked on the boat and thus were better organized. Within a few minutes of exiting the boat we found someone holding the sign for our tour and were herded into a small group before heading off. The harbor where we docked is one of two harbors on the island at which cruise ships may dock. This harbor was fairly new and built mainly for cruise liners. The shops at the pier were in brand new buildings and a lot of the space was still vacant. St. Thomas is known for its jewelry, so the majority of the shops were jewelry shops. We never went in, but we heard the prices were great, not to mention tax free.

On our walk over to where the sea blaster was docked, about 100 yards from our boat, there was a large iguana basking on the large boulders between the walkway and the ocean. I was able to get some great close up photos of him as he basked. After being obsessed with such animals most of my life, it was a real treat to see such a beautiful specimen in the wild.

We made our way onto the sea blaster. A fairly large boat with seats in the front and rear. The crew of three were delightful, Americans of various backgrounds who seemed to really enjoy their work on the blaster and did their best to make sure everyone was having a great time. They offered free water and punch throughout the trip as well as snack cookies and crackers. As with many tour guides, these folks were comedians as well.

Like St. Martin, the morning was partly cloudy with a few dark clouds bearing overhead. During our trip out to the snorkeling spot (Little St. James Island I think), we were rained on by a few clouds. We also made a pit stop at the other harbor where two cruise liners were docked, to pick up a few more passengers. In all we had 32 passengers, and the crew said that is great for us, because their full load is 139 and that meant we were a relatively small group, which led to more time snorkeling for everyone.

At the second harbor we pulled up right along side the second largest yacht in the world. The captain said it’s owned by some internet guy, he mentioned that he thought it was an Oracle person, so it may be Larry Ellison’s yacht. If I find the answer and an online article on it, I will try to remember and link it here. I took some pictures of the yacht, it was absolutely incredible. It was not much smaller than a cruise liner, and was in spotless condition.

Upon dropping anchor at the snorkel spot the crew went through a 10 minute safety presentation. Nothing serious, just the standard “Don’t touch anything and it won’t touch you”, along with a bunch of tips on how to snorkel. This was the first time I had snorkeled with a “snorkeling vest”. A baby-bib like device in which you can blow air to keep yourself afloat. It turned out to be a lifesaver. Until now I had only snorkeled twice, once in Hawaii and once in St. Martin. Both times I had trouble with navigation and keeping afloat. This snorkel vest was awesome. It kept me afloat and allowed me to concentrate on the wildlife as opposed to treading water.

The wildlife here was the most abundant of anywhere we’d been so far. The water was clear and we could see far into the distance. I was the second one to jump in, and the guy before me yelled out that the stingray was right below the boat. The crew mentioned a stingray often visits them when they come in the area, most likely cause they put out some food to attract fish when they drop anchor. So I was real excited to swim with my first ray. I was in and had my head in the water searching as soon as I could. Sure enough, the guy pointed the direction and I looked down to see a small “Eagle Ray” (I think) swimming back and forth about 15 feet down at the bottom underneath us. The ray was only 2-3 feet in length. I tried to snap a photo with the underwater camera, but I don’t know if it will turn out.

I went for the shore first. I had a mission in mind: get some close ups of the island lizards. I was hoping to see some large iguanas basking, but I only found a group of small lizards (Anoles) doing mating / territorial dances for one another. Most lizards dance with their front legs and head, bobbing up and down. These lizards were gyrating their rear ends and whipping their tails in wave-like motions. I had never seen or heard of this before so I watched for a bit and snapped a photo.

Back in the water I swam around the reef by the shore and saw some great wildlife, a lot of colorful fish that you normally see in pet stores. After a few minutes I bumped into Tia and we agreed to swim about 100 yards out to a crop of rocks where the crew said a lot more wildlife exists.

It seemed like a long swim, but we eventually arrived. There was even more fish and coral out here. We saw some beautifully colored fish of many species and attempted to take many photos with the camera – hopefully they’ll turn out alright.

I was hoping most to see sea turtles and larger rays. We didn’t have such luck, but a few of the other snorkelers reported seeing both in the area where Tia and I were, I guess we just missed them. One animal we did see, that was a bit on the racier side was a juvenile barracuda. It was probably 3-4 feet in length and had an amazing set of dental work combined with a deathly stare. It just stayed motionless about 15 feet away and seemed to stare at us and watch us as we swam by. I held the camera out as close as I could and took a photo. I was worried that the click of the camera as I pushed the button might anger it, but I made sure that it was closer to Tia than myself when I snapped the photo. Just kidding. It didn’t seem to mind and we just swam on through.

Upon returning to the boat more beverages were offered (all free), including rum and punch. They told us a bit about ancient Caribbean pirates (who drank rum) and had t-shirts for sale displaying their logo, which is a pirate flag mixed with a racing flag. The ride back was uneventful yet scenic. Overall we really enjoyed this excursion and made some memories to last a lifetime.

We returned to the harbor and were just 20 minutes or so away from our next excursion, the eco tour. There was no time to return to the boat for lunch, but luckily we were still full from breakfast, and I had a few crackers on the sea blaster.

We located the tour official for the eco tour and were sent off in a taxi with another American couple and a father with his three daughters, all straight from Korea. I didn’t hear them speak any English the entire day, I wonder how they liked everything.

The drive to the mangrove lagoons went through downtown St. Thomas. A beautiful drive, both with the ocean scenery and the city views. Much of the city appeared to be similar to an American ghetto you might find in the poorer parts of larger U.S. Cities. Downtown consisted of a few blocks of extremely narrow allies (no more than two body-lengths across) lined with dozens of shops, mostly jewelry shops.

People in St. Thomas, despite being a U.S. territory, drive on the left side of the road! Their car steering wheels, like ours, are on the left side, yet the drive on the left. Apparently this is due to the fact that the U.S. purchased this group of islands from Great Britain, who drive on the left. I could leave it at that, but I’ll share more. Back when the island was purchased, there were no cars, so you wouldn’t think it wouldn’t be a big deal to switch which side of the street people traveled on. However, the entire island had trained their travel mates, donkeys, to walk on the left side of the street, again, this was before vehicles. When the U.S. bought the islands and cars started to become common, they tried to force the donkeys to walk on the right side of the road, yet they refused. So instead of retraining thousands of donkeys, they just mandated that cars would drive on the left. Presently there are no such donkeys remaining (or very few), and they continue to drive on the left.

Remember how I talked about St. Martin’s traffic, and how driving there is much worse than Paris? Well St. Thomas takes it to the next level. We spent the entire trip with our arms stiff and eyes clinched. It’s definitely something you must experience to believe, there’s no describing it.

The eco tour (http://www.viecotours.com/) turned out to be Tia’s favorite excursion of the trip, which surprised me, because I thought it was something more along my tastes, focusing on the local fauna. But yes, I agree with the Tia, it was a fantastic trip.

Our head guide was Troy. A tall local, about 25-30yrs old, who had spent some time in Atlanta going to college, but quickly grew homesick and came back to the island. Of all our guides throughout the trip, Troy was the funniest. He stressed that tours with no humor are way too boring, and too much humor ruins the learning, so he does his best to mix education with humor. Despite being a local, he had an American accent, probably picked up during his time in Atlanta. Despite his American accent during the tour, I heard him break out the local pigeon English dialict when speaking with his parter who was always hiding in the bushes taking pictures of us. Troy’s humor was very black (American) too, my favorite kind.

Troy’s partner Craig had the unique job of taking over 250 photos throughout our tour. He did his best to catch a photo of each of us as we were making our way through at various stages of the adventure. At the end of the tour we would have the opportunity to purchase a full CD of all the photos he had taken, plus a bonus CD – a “Best Of” CD of photos they had taken throughout their tours. A very nice touch and we ended up buying the CD’s. I didn’t have enough cash on me to purchase the CD ($45), but Troy stressed that he wanted us all to have a copy regardless, so he allowed for the ‘honor system’, i.e. I will call in with my credit card number, or mail them a check/cash for the remaining amount due.

I asked him how he got into marine biology (he’s quite the aficionado and is well versed in the local marine ecology and biology of the island). He said growing up he watched his father, who was a fisherman, and asked him all sorts of questions about the sea and its wildlife. He said the questions his father wasn’t able to answer drove him to educate himself as to their answers – and it just grew into an obsession from there. Troy and his small group are all in their twenties but are quite the conservationists. They put on these tours twice a day for tourists from all over and stress above all, conservation.

The tour starts out with us paddling kayaks deep within the mangrove lagoons. Here, the water is a constant 4-10 feet deep and is crystal clear. We are surrounded by mangrove forests whose roots surge deep into the ocean bed. Troy explains how these mangrove trees provide three major advantages to the island.

First, studies have proven that the mangrove lagoon is the safest place to dock your boat during a hurricane. He referenced a storm awhile back that destroyed 140 something of about 150 boats. When a similar storm came through a few years later, they tested anchoring their boats in the mangrove lagoon and only four of the 150 or so boats were lost. These areas of safe haven for boats are referred to as “hurricane holes” and are obviously a must have for any island wishing to withstand a hurricane. At one point we paddled past a ship that had wrecked above ground, on the mangrove trees. Troy explained the law that says ships must be salvaged within six months or they cannot be removed because of the damage the removal would inflict upon the wildlife which had grown around and on the crash site. This ship obviously wasn’t saved before the cutoff. He also said that it can cost around $5000 to recover a ship, so some people may not be able to afford it.

While paddling in the kayaks we witnessed a local brown pelican diving for fish (one of those things you’ve seen on the Discovery channel, but is breathtaking to see in person), ospery dive bombing one another for whatever reason (a spectacular mid-air collision) and a large (eagle or spotted) ray cruising through the lagoon below our kayaks. I also failed to mention that at the beginning of the kayak tour when Tia and I crashed into the mangroves, a medium-sized crab was hanging out on one of the branches next to our kayak. He scampered up the branch as I attempted to photograph him.

During the next phase of the tour we pulled our kayaks ashore and went for a short hike to some tidal areas. Along the way Troy would stop and point out various plants and animals and give a bit of background about their nature and ecology. Off the top of my head I remember a few termite mounds, an edible plant which we all tasted (think salty bean pods, and supposedly was 90% vitamin C), a poisonous tree, similar to poison oak, which was so toxic that even breathing the fumes of its wood burning would inflame your lungs and throat. Another bush Troy pointed out served as one of the early writing materials. The leaves could easily be etched and when you want whatever message to disappear (think treasure map, or a secret), simply remove it from the branch and as it dies the message fades out completely. These particular leaves are also used for cooking, in which meats are wrapped.

At the tide pools we saw a sea star (starfish), sea urchin and a titan (a prehistoric beetle looking creature). The scenery was exquisite and offered many good photo opportunities.

During the third phase of the tour we snorkeled around the lagoon. First we went to a sunken boat and saw a lot of larger reef fish. Then we went over by an anchored sailboat and saw a lot of big fish congregating beneath it where we found a large school of blue tang (I think? The Dorie fish from finding nemo). At one point a large puffer fish cruised by as well.

Next we went to a known octopus den and witnessed a medium-sized octopus devouring a conk. The octopus had gone out and found the conk, brought it back to the den (there were 3-4 other empty conk shells laying around) and was in the process of extracting the mollusk from its shell. The guides explained that the male octopus decorates his den with the shells in order to attract females.

After that Tia and I went over to the reef and saw more of the same fish, but got a better up-close view of them since they were cornered against a barrier reef. We then worked our way back around the mangrove roots towards the kayaks. Here the roots provide safe haven and shelter for baby fish. It was amazing to see literally millions of tiny 1-3 inch fish surrounding you in the lagoon. At one point next to the roots I was surrounded by babies. Every direction I turned were thousands of these little guys. I also spotted a medium-sized puffer fish cruising the root system.

Back at the kayaks the guides gave us a small snack (mini twix and snickers) and we headed back to base. This time we went directly without stopping. Tia and I shared a kayak, so it made for a fun date to navigate the waters together.

Back on the shore of the base there we were welcomed by a large iguana who was hanging out. I snapped a good photo before he took off. Troy explained that every afternoon they rinse off all their equipment with fresh water, which attracts all the local iguanas who take advantage of the fresh water to drink.

On a side note, I asked Troy what people are called if they hail from St. Thomas. For example, someone from Jamaica is Jamaican, someone from Haiti is Haitian, what are if you you’re from St. Thomas or St. Martin? Troy explained that oddly enough, you are “Saint Thomian”. It was also funny to see a young couple on their honeymoon on our tour. They can best be described as hippies, who probably had nothing much going for them at home because they flat-out asked Troy for a job “Do you need two more employees?”. It was cute.

After we thanked the crew and purchased the photo CD they had just burned ($35 cash, $10 honor system), we hopped in the taxi which was waiting for us (kudos to great organization).

The driver was born and raised in St. Thomas and knew the roads well. He wanted to avoid terrible traffic so took us through the back roads on the way back to the harbor. This offered us a few stellar views of the two main bays as well as an up close look at the local neighborhoods, which were pretty ghetto. We had heard St. Thomas had an above average share of crime, and I definitely wouldn’t want to be caught in these allies alone at night.

Between the traffic and poverty on both St. Martin and St. Thomas, I pretty much gave up any fantasy I ever entertained of retiring on a Caribbean island.

Back on the ship I decided to take a dip in the spa since I was covered in dry salt again and the shower in our room is a human pickle jar. At the spa there were a few people who sounded like they were speaking some crazy German or something. As I sat down and listened more closely I recognized it as French, in a crazy accent. So sure enough I asked if they were from Canada (in French), and of course they were from Quebec. For the next hour it was me and four of women from Quebec in the spa. Two were my age, the other two were my mother’s age. We covered all sorts of topics from my time in France, to my religion, to family, etc. It was fun to use my French, but their accent could be difficult to understand at times. They said there was about 30 in their group on the boat who were all there for the wedding of one of their daughters.

By the time I returned to our room we were running late for the show with the hypnotist. We opted to eat a small amount quickly at the buffet, and planned to return after the show for seconds.

I’ve always wanted to know about hypnotism, and I admit that I’m a bit skeptical that someone can put me in a trance with simple words and swinging watches. So when the guy asked for 20 volunteers I went up on stage. He started out by having everyone on stage sit down and close their eyes and listen to his instructions. He led us through a series of exercises where we listen to his instructions and follow carefully. Everything from closing our eyes to acting like we are asleep. At no point did he whisper any ‘special’ instructions to us, it was simply a matter of listening closely to his instructions and following them to the letter. Anyone who failed to follow his exact directions would be politely dismissed with a handshake. I was dismissed when he was telling us all to sleep as he grabbed our arms. I was limp and following his sleeping instructions, but when he grabbed and lifted my arm I opened my eyes to look at him – that did me in. He grabbed my wrist and put my hand over the opposite shoulder and moved on. At the end of that section everyone who had their hand on their shoulders was dismissed, including me. Finally, he had whittled the volunteers down to five individuals who had done a perfect job of following all of his instructions and truly acting as if they were asleep (i.e. placing their head on the shoulder of the person next to them). They were the hams, those who listened to each of his instructions and perfectly followed through.

The show then changed gears, from weeding out the less-dedicated, to exploiting those still on stage and willing to play the role. He had these people do everything from rap in Chinese to strip dance in the audience. Obviously these people weren’t in a trance, but they had been carefully selected as those who would willingly continue to follow the hypnotists directions throughout the show.

Overall I was unimpressed. I was really hoping to see real trances, real hypnotism, real events which the people would not remember once awakened from a trance. Instead I saw a bunch of normal people who enjoyed their limelight and had a fun story to tell their friends.

By the end of the night we were once again zonked out and really enjoyed sleeping in after two days of activities.

Day 7 – Friday – At Sea – 1/19/2007

Friday was definitely a recovery day for most people on the boat. We spent most of the day sleeping and only left our room to eat. It was also formal night, so when dinner came around we had to wear the suit and dress.

Being stuffed from the lunch buffet we decided to see the comedian “Sarge” at 7pm before attending the formal dinner. Sarge was good and funny, but lots of his “cruise jokes” (about our elevators, food, small bathrooms, cost of bottled water, etc) had already been beat into the ground by the previous comedians we’d seen. However, we had some good laughs and it was definitely worth the show.

After that we proceeded to one of the formal restaurants and were seated at a large table with four other couples. They really need to pump up the air conditioning if they’re going to require such formal nights. I wasn’t happy about packing an entire suit and dress pants for a vacation on which I wanted to wear shorts and a t-shirt the entire time, but to make me sweat and bear the heat through a long drawn out dinner was…. it sucked. At the buffet we usually finish our meal within 20-30 minutes. This formal dinner was about a two hour process of faking conversation while waiting for a waiter to bring us the next course (and feeling sweat drip down my back).

Needing a refresh we hit the spa/pool after dinner. We were the only ones out there and it was a nice and relaxing way to end the evening.

Day 8 – Saturday – Princess Cays (Bahamas) – 1/20/2007

Princess Cays (pronounced keys) is a small private island off the southern coast of one of the Bahama’s largest islands: Eleuretha. The island owned by the cruise line (Princess) and serves as a day-long beach party for those lucky enough to have it on their itinerary. The island is equipped with thousands of beach chairs, snorkeling equipment, mini retail stores in small huts, eating and cooking pavilions, kids playgrounds, etc.

Our ship had to anchor about a half mile off shore while the life boats ferried people to and from the island. The first life boat was leaving at 8:45am and the last one returning at 3:15pm. We wanted as much time as we could get in the Bahamas, so we were up by 8:15am and made our way to the indoor theater, which was the gathering point to be ferried to the island. We made the first ferry and were off.

The forecast for the day was partly cloudy, and for most of the morning clouds were blocking the sun. The clouds moved fast so we got some nice rays every now and then, but at one point early on it began to sprinkle. Luckily as the day went on the clouds moved out and the sun moved in.

Before lunch we both took to the waters for some great snorkeling. We had walked out on a lookout point around some rocks and in the crystal blue water saw many schools of reef fish. I was excited to get in there and see how the Bahamas compared to the southeast Caribbean where we had just been.

Visibility was excellent, the water was absolutely gorgeous. I went over by the rocks and the lookout to be welcomed by hundreds of reef fish, in many dazzling colors and patterns. Many were of the same species as the ones we had seen before, but we also saw a few new ones.

When the sun would peak through the clouds and warm our bodies and illuminate the waters things were great, when it was cloudy things got a tad on the chilly side.

At 11am we were first in line for the buffet, we had skipped breakfast. The food was great, it covered all the main food groups: pork, beef, chicken and fish. By the time lunch was over the sun had beat out the clouds. We laid out for a bit, then hit the waters again for more snorkeling.

The heat of the sun seemed a lot stronger than normal. It felt wonderful as it hit our bodies in the water, warming us and illuminating the fish. We went over to the lookout point where people were throwing bread over the rails to the fish. As the bread would fall around us snorkelers the fish would congregate en masse and we were in the middle of it. I really felt as if the fish accepted me into their school. If a shark were to appear, I knew the fish would surround me in protection and lead me to safety. (yeah right)

Tia’s mask was giving her a headache so she went back to shore. At this point I set out on my personal mission of the day. I wanted to see something spectacular. Something much larger than a reef fish and to bring home a story. Maybe a giant sea turtle, large squid, full grown manta ray, or even a reef shark. To accomplish this I headed out into deeper water, away from the shore.

I didn’t find anything listed above, but I did find something fairly satisfying. About 100 yards from shore, in about 20 feet of water there was a large coral formation about the size of a shopping cart on the ocean bed. Hovering above that coral was a large barracuda, much larger than the one we had seen in St. Thomas. I’d guess it was a good 5-6 feet in length.

I immediately readied my underwater camera and held it out in attempts to line up a good shot. At this point my body and the fish’s body were drifting at such an angle that I was now looking at it from behind, if I snapped a shot it would only show a sliver of tail. I kept floating towards it as we both rotated, within a few moments it would be sideways and I’d have a perfect shot. I finally took a decent shot, although I would have liked to have been closer to the fish. I was a bit nervous about encroaching upon the personal space of the animal. He was staring right at me as I inched closer and closer. I knew at some point I would cross the line into his personal space and he would dart away (or bite me).

I had also noticed someone swimming on the surface directly above the barracuda who did not have snorkel gear, he had no idea what was just below him. I surfaced and said “hey, there’s a huge barracuda right under you!” To which he replied “Yeah, surrreee..” And I said “no, I’m serious, it’s right there.” He was swimming with his wife who had snorkel gear and was near, so I told him to tell her to look under him and pointed the direction. He did so and she freaked out and got mad at him.

I then wanted to go for another photo, you can never be sure how the underwater photos are going to turn out, so it’s best to take multiple photos of something you really want to see.

As I moved in and took aim the barracuda circled its coral perch a few times then opened its jaws widely for a brief moment. Troy from the eco tours had told us this is a barracuda greeting, natural behavior. Whether or not this is true, or if the fish was just yawning, I don’t know, but I didn’t feel threatened (even though his dental work was very intimidating). However, some hero snorkeler decided he wanted to save the day and started chasing the barracuda clapping his hands and scared it off. I heard him yell to a friend that it was “making threats” so he wanted to get rid of it before it hurt anyone. pfffff.. I really wanted more pictures.

I also came across a large (1-2 ft) trumpet fish who was perched in some candlestick coral and in a chameleon-like fashion blended right in. Similarly I met a 12-15 inch flounder who showed even more capacity for color and pattern change as he moved across various terrain and altered his camouflage to near perfection.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sun bathing in restful bliss. The sun was especially fierce that afternoon, this trip was the first time I’d seen a sunburned Hawaiian (Tia).

Fresh cut fruit is served throughout the day, and every three minutes a different princess employee approaches you asking if you’d like anything to drink (which became very annoying).

Back on the boat, avoiding the 2×2 shower, I employed my standard mehod of salt-water cleansing – a dip in the pool and spa while Tia showered.

That evening we attended the two-guest show at the theater – Lovena Fox, a very talented singer who did a few numbers for us; followed by Sarge, the comedian we had seen the night before (doing an all new act).

Lovena had an amazing voice, but I thought her forced dance moves looked awkward and robotic.

Sarge, however, did a bang up job. We both laughed the whole way through, he had obviously saved his best material for tonight. Again, we appreciated that none of the comedians during this cruise resulted to vulgarity or profanity during their acts.

For part of Sarge’s finally he asked the audience to name off random songs and as he wrote them down. He then sat at the piano and played an impromptu melody of a portion of each song, going down the list. He is quite the piano player and showed that he is a man of many talents.

After that we retired to our room for more movies on TNT and prepared for disembarkation.

Day 9 – Sunday – Ft. Lauderdale – 1/21/2007

It is now Sunday morning and I’m sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale airport as I write this. Most of what I’ve written above was done each evening in our cabin on the ship.

This morning we filled up at the great breakfast buffet. There are two methods of disembarkation. First, you can place your luggage outside your door the night before leaving and it will be collected and moved for you. Otherwise, you can opt for “express walk-off” and carry your own luggage and leave between 7-8am. The advantage of the express checkout is that those who do not opt for it, must be out of their room and are forced to loiter around the boat and wait for their color to be called before leaving. You must be out of your room by 8am. We didn’t feel like sitting around in overcrowded rooms all day, so we did the express walk-off.

We had previously purchased a $20 transfer from the port to the airport, so we loaded up in a greyhound and were off to Ft. Lauderdale International.

My battery is now about to run out. I brought my power cord and failed to notice that it had been damaged during the trip – some plastic on the cord had torn away and the two copper power wires were in contact. As soon as I plugged it into the outlet here in the airport terminal a big puff of smoke went up and the thing started cooking. I immediately unplugged it and Tia pointed out the exposed wiring. I’ll take that as a sign to finish up here.